Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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