The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
