the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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