Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
