I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
