i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
