Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
