he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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