Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize