the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
As shirtless as possible
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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