hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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