check it out our google latitudes are spooning
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
