90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I love you.
Bad choice
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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