Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
