Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
