ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Come see our sink grown plant.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
