Ambien. No doubt about it.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
