Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
