I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
