I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
