All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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