I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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