You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Randomize