That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Randomize
