The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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