so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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