just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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