I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
