no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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