im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
im six kinds of drunk right now
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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