I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
