I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
