No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
