Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
