What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Panties = found
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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