How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Can Purell be used as lube?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
