I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
