If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
