I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
