your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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