You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
