So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
