Just cropdusted the office
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
