Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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