perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
