I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
from now on my penis is your penis
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
