And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
