The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
MIDGETS
????
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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