we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
