just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
