you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
