Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
lets start a swedish sibling band together
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize