That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
