so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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