Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
