I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
