youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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