YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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